Evolution: the process by which different kinds of living organisms are thought to have developed and diversified from earlier forms during the history of the earth.
But evolution isn’t perfect. Here are six creatures that evolved into the worst replacements possible.
Number One: The Hyaenodon was the size of a horse with jaws as long as an alligator’s, an acute sense of smell, and weighed more than a quarter of a ton. They were killing machines that travelled in packs and could take down anything. Think Velociraptor with a sophisticated brain and way more muscle.
Its evolutionary spin-off? The raccoon. Far from being the dominant predator wandering in packs, raccoons can more likely be found tipping over garbage cans, hunting for leftovers at the bottom.
Number Two: The Gastornis was a huge prehistoric carnivorous bird-like creature with bright red and blue feathers that lived when the Mammalians were just beginning to come into their own. It had a hook-shaped beak that could crunch bones and was capable of wiping warm-blooded animals off the face of the Earth.
Its evolutionary spin-off? Essentially anything from the Avian order Struththioniformes which includes animals such as the Kiwi and the Rhea which are both currently endangered, and the ostrich which is not.
Number Three: The Smilodons a.k.a. the sabre-tooth tigers, had 8-inch blade-like teeth and were the dominant predators before our ancestors came along. They traveled in packs, weighed 500 pounds, and could bring their prey down with a single bite through major blood vessels and the windpipe.
Its evolutionary spin-off? Believe it or not – Marsupials. The closest connection is the Koala Bear, Kangaroo, Opossum, and Tasmanian Devil.
Number Four: The Megatherium was the size of an African Elephant and though a herbivore, it was able to fend off attacks from almost anything in the anicent world with its 8-inch claws, standing on its hind legs.
Its evolutionary spin-off? The common tree sloth. They’re herbivores and spend most of their time relaxing, not scavenging for flesh, and are famous for being slow as molasses.
Number Five: The Entelodon was an enormous, 7-foot, smelly monster that feasted on rotten carrion. It had a full set of sharp teeth for ripping flesh and crushing bone that traveled in packs.
Its evolutionary spin-off? The pig we know today that eats vitamin-enriched feed and is eventually processed and sold for eating.
And finally, Number Six: The Andrewsarchus was like a gigantic wolf only with a jaw twice as powerful, a body quite a bit larger than a grizzly bear, and the most sophisticated killing machine since the Velociraptor. It was the largest mammalian terrestrial carnivore in the history of life on Earth, almost 15-feet long with 3-foot long teeth, quick, agile, and a pretty sophisticated brain.
Its evolutionary spin-off? Anything from a sheep to a goat. That’s all that’s left of the most powerful mammalian predator in history.
I want to thank Walter Lawrence (website Internet-Explorers.net) for this delightful article which I discovered through further research (I wanted to make absolutely sure it was true before I posted it) that although these ancient creatures did exist, their evolutionary spin-offs are a complete hoax. After getting a bit ticked off about all the time I’d spent on this, I have to admit it was sort of funny!